i ended up realizing that to be happy in life was to be heartless. having emotions sucks. having emotions makes us weak, vulnerable. you have a problem with my attitude? fine. it’s not my problem. this ugly world made my ugly safe. i don’t know what being alive feels like. i don’t even remember what the feel of happiness & sadness is. i can’t remember how it is to love and care about someone. the only one who has this privilege is Jack. he’s my rock and idk what i would do without this uglyass but amazing friend. good luck to pierce my heart of stone, i don’t want to feel anything anymore, it’s the only way to protect myself from suffering.